Studio practice

 Evaluation   

To begin with I struggled to get going with this project, this is a recurring  issue I have with the self derived projects, I have too many ideas and spend a while stressing over all the possible routes, I’ve learnt I just need to get doing and making and the idea will find me eventually. So after the first couple of weeks dithering over ideas I landed on the idea of exploring my experience with anxiety in different social environments through my little screaming Laurel leaf faces. I knew when beginning this project that I wanted to try more performative and video art whilst still keeping that balance of physical making that I find important in my own practice, the screaming Laurel faces led me onto an idea I wanted to explore but I couldn’t figure out how to turn them into some kind of performance or video. I was kind of stumped so I spoke to a tutor and they told me to stop overthinking it and use what I had, they suggested something as simple as weaving into my cardigan and such so I took the advice and that's basically what I did. I decided to continue with the leaves but this time getting rid of the faces and sewing them into my clothing instead. To bring in the more personal aspect of the anxieties I experience I would sew the leaves into my clothing in various public locations where I would typically feel anxious. I had just finished a round of exposure therapy targeted at going into different places at lunch to eat on my own so was feeling slightly brave and decided this project would be a good way to almost expand on that, the places where I would sew were already anxiety provoking places for me like shopping centres and pubs, the sewing itself did help me take my mind of the different environments I was in but as I was attaching leaves onto my clothes it obviously drew attention to myself, another thing I tend to avoid out of anxiety. I was making myself seen to get over the fear of being seen. I was so shaky and nervous the first time I sat to sew in a public place but slowly it started working, people didn't care and I mean that in the most positive way, slowly my anxiety started to ease each time because I realised nothing bad would happen I sew my leaves and the world keeps spinning on like normal and anyone who did say anything to me were just curious and always pleasant. Obviously I still struggle with anxieties but this succeeded in helping in a change of perspective. 

The documentation of this performative action is really where I got to explore more making and creative techniques, I used both analogue and digital photography, being inspired by Sophie Calle and her way of documenting work I took this project as an opportunity to learn how to use a film camera and develop the photos, also inspired by Calle I documented my personal feelings of the experience through a journal. For the style and staging of photographs I took a very static basic approach inspired by Rebecca Horns film stills. My video was more experimental, not consciously inspired by any other artists but more just experimenting with a different style and new editing platform. Towards the end I felt like my physical making wasn't present enough so inspired by artist Rachel Carter I decided to try my hand at Willow weaving to create a clothes hanger to display my leaf outfit on. I enjoyed this new long process of soaking the willow, leaving it then weaving into shape, it was a very hands on process which is something appreciate. I ended up enjoying the process so much that I made multiple, along with hangers out of other materials like cardboard so I ended up hanging them on the wall in a sculptural form. For the exhibition I tried to display a piece of each process Id done and tried to use this to highlight and bring forth the different qualities of my work and art style. I had my photography displayed on the boards, showing both digital and film, my leaf outfit on display and my coat hanger sculpture. I was showing my Handle with care video on the screen on a loop with the leaf person video so decided to display a sign sketch from that previous project under my journal, I thought it would tie the work together well. Both of these videos were shown on a large screen opposite my boards with three straw bales for seating, these did cause difficulties but I think it was definitely worth it for the viewing effect they gave and created a better link between my other work the big screen. 

I am pleased with the work I have produced and the way I have documented and displayed it, I have used this time to learn new techniques and process which I think worked well for the ideas I was exploring and I'm happy I was able to show a little aspect of each in the show. I pushed myself to further explore performative work and did it in a subtle way that worked for me, it was beneficial for my personal self but also helped expand further into another branch of art. I much prefer the work I've created for this show compared to last years as I think I've found the art style that fits my ideas and way of creating better, I also just put more effort and time into it this year. If anything I just wish I could of gone bigger in the size of my prints or done more but that's something ill always think and there's always next year.